3.
My orders usually come with instructions which I think of more like rules than guidelines. When I can, I am sorry to admit, I also include additional suggestions.
For instance, when I order an omelet and bagel, I request that you please put the bagel (toasted but not too) on a separate plate and please put the cream cheese (light only!) on the side. I can't possibly eat a bagel with regular cream cheese troweled on a half inch thick, and have you ever tried to remove cream cheese with a plastic knife?
And also I'd appreciate it if you'd try to drain some of the liquid off the plate because if I order tomatoes in the omelet (which I don't always, but sometimes tomatoes sound good) it arrives swimming in liquid.
And I'm pretty sure that it's tomato liquid, but it also has a vague oily sheen that makes me suspect that I'm eating an omelet that was cooked in too much grease. Which makes me feel worse about having the bagel and the cream cheese, even if it is light cream cheese I applied myself and with proper restraint.
Just so you know, this unpredictable puddle of omelet liquid is the reason for requiring an extra plate for the bagel. It’s not that I’m trying to be difficult. Because it's one thing to have your omelet floating, but quite another to have your bagel wet too. I'll still eat it even if I have to dry the plate and the bagel off myself, and it doesn't put a damper on my entire day or even necessarily my breakfast. But it does make me feel bad about my rate of napkin use.
I'm not my Aunt Lillie, after all, crying real tears every time her sandwich would show up with mayonnaise on it even though she'd requested that they leave it off. I don't even sulk, much, unless it's something I really don't like.
Like Dijon mustard. The kind they put on my ham sandwich last time I ordered one. The menu didn’t specify Dijon. It just said mustard. And you can't scrape off a taste. It's too late.
Dijon belongs to the non-scrapable category of foods. Once it touches bread, the damage is done. I scraped the ham sandwich and ate it anyway, sure, but in hindsight I may have been less pleasant lunch company than I might have been if my order had been mustard compliant.
I have a dream. Someday I hope to just step up to a counter and order a cheeseburger. Without another word. I've seen people do it. I’m not sure how they get them cooked correctly and without any pink. I can take off onions myself. Onions, unlike Dijon mustard, do not cause immediate and unpleasant taste transference. In fact, I often like the taste of something after I have removed the onions. Depending on the color of the onions.
This works best with red onions, of course, which if they are sliced thinly enough, it is possible I can eat without picking off at all.
But a cheeseburger could be problematic because there is always going to be an underlying tension surrounding doneness. So perhaps my dream would be more realistic if I focused on something that does not require cooking. Like a ham sandwich. But see?
This is the reason the world needs rules. It just makes eating out easier.
On a separate but related note, I am a generous tipper. I hope it helps.